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Shiusletters 3 & 4
Mystical Miruvani

More insane ramblings about Peter Shiu

Welcome to the third issue of (as far as I'm aware) the only weekly newsletter dedicated to Peter Shiu!

Shiu Diary:
Weds: This lecture was probably the clearest and most understandable to date, we had the ultimate Shiu catchphrase twice! That's YES! YES! YES! by the way. Also we got a new phrase, when writing the vector (1,2,3,4,5) Shiu followed this up by saying "Once I caught a fish alive". It was a shame that the next vector was (5,6,7,8,9) as we could have had the second line which would have brought the house down.
Thurs: Boring, nothing for the Shiu enthusiast.
Fri: Eventful lecture today. it became apparent that shiu has one leg longer than the other as it was pointed out to me that his jeans were rolled up unequally. It also became apparent that Shiu has magical powers as he was able to defy the laws of physics by placing the board rubber on a vertical surface without it falling off. This reminded me of the time that Jenya managed this incredible feat, I think they both are super-human. Shiu crossed out a 1 and then wrote exactly the same thing again, the fool! Shiu quote of the day "Like they say on Blue Peter, here's one I cooked up earlier". The man is a genius!

Shiu stuff: Last week I told you about Shiu's initials, but did you realise that PS is a common sight on letters from forgetful people?
Using my C in GCSE Latin, I investigated. PS stands for post script, which literally translates as after writing, so there you go, when you next write a letter and forget something think of Peter Shiu.
I accept no responsibility if this is complete crap, I didn't research this at all.

Shiu Vote: In the most one sided Shiu vote yet, the opinion was that there was a Mrs Shiu. The final result was:
Yes, there is a Mrs Shiu: 60%
No, he is single or gay: 40%

This weeks vote
Imagine the scenario, you have been given the responsibility of organising entertainment for a kids party but naturally you've left it to the last minute. You search the yellow pages and find the following two options. Which do you choose?
Coco the clown
Peter Shiu

Shiu competition.
Congratulations to Djibril Cisse who suggested the slogan "I love Shiu, does Shiu love me too?" He wins a paper clip. Wait, he wins two paper clips as they appear to be stuck together, one is purple the other is black.

This weeks competition: Shiu song. We need a song that we can sing when we go to Shiu lectures. Here are a few to start you off
I can't live, if living is without Shiu
Peter, peter Shiu, where are you, we've got some algebra for you.

Remember we have Shiuwork to be handed in by Thursday.

Damn my keyboard, it just froze so this is my second attempt at writing this.
I begin with a Shiu lectures analogy. They are like a banana, you see a banana and think "Dude this looks sweet!", then you start eating it and you think "Wow this is damn good", but as you continue the taste gets samey and dull and you're thinking "This is good I guess but its getting dull", then due to the intense thinking about bananas you've been doing you have inadvertantly squashed the bottom of the banana and it is badly bruised and now you're thinking "Dude this sucks get me some cookies".
As you can see one of Shius biggets fans is beginning to tire of his lectures, there are 2 reasons for this
1) The work is confusing
2) Shiu phrases are being used less and less
I only hope we either start doing basic arithmetic or Shiu starts brightening up his lectures in his special way!

Shiu Diary
Weds: We had a photographer in, this sparked speculation that maybe he was a huge Shiu fan aswell, turns out he was taking pictures of the students, but the fact that he chose a Shiu lecture to do it again suggests to me that a small part of his heart belongs to Shiu. Shiu commented on a "dirty ratbag" of vectors, I was too busy laughing to work out what he was on about so i can't tell you the origins of this phrase
Thurs: Shiu in new jumper shocker, yes you heard me right, Shiu has a new olive green jumper, I don't know where it is from, possibly M&S. On my way out I decided to find out how tall Shiu is, turns out he is approximately the same height as my mother, for those of you who haven't seen my mum (that'll be all of you) she comes up to my chin, to annoy her I rest my chin on her head, I think this wou;ld annoy Shiu aswell.
Fri: I spoke to Shiu!!!! I asked him for a sheet, not much I know but I had to start somewhere. I also touched his magic board rubber, which Shiu lost twice in the lecture and proceeded to walk around in a circle with his arms outstretched as if he himself was lost! Shiu couldn't decide which board was the best to write on so he wrote on all of them, often having one paragraph on all three boards, which made life hard for us trying to figure out where he was going next! Oh and he said YES! YES! YES! the first and only time of the week.

Random Shiu stuff
25 Words that rhyme with Shiu:
Shoe, who, flu, curfew, few, true, rue, threw, que, queue, cue, moo, damn foo', do, new, mew (Pokemon), loo, Jew, boo, goo, blue, glue, flew, poo, crew.
Shiu is (probably) from China, so i figured that I should educate you about this country. China is one of the biggest countries on the planet, it is in Asia. They have a red flag with some gold stuff on it. They are famous for tea, rice, Chinese burns and the great wall of China. The most famous chinese person ever is Mao Tse Tung, the most famous chinese person i know is Li Tie who plays for Everton. As yuou can see I know very little about China and now you do aswell.

Shiu Vote
Last week I asked who you would hire for kids entertainment, Shiu or a clown? Happily common sense prevailed over insanity and the clown won   2-1, as you can see this was a low voter turn out which dissapoints me.
This weeks vote is a lot more interesting as I have put some thought into it. Well actually i stole the idea from some guy whose name I can't remember. So here goes
Who would win in a fight
a) Shiu
b) Pugh?
Before you answer consider the height and weight advantage that Pugh has, but will that slow him down? Does Shiu know kung-fu?

Shiu competition
Last week I set the task of finding a Shiu song. i am happy to announce that Louis Saha won with the suggestion of "All the things Shiu said". Congratulations, he wins a small yellow bulldog clip. i will have to come up with more prize ideas or I will run out of stationary!!
Here is a "Tribute to Shiu" compilation from peoples entries

"All the things Shiu said"-TATU
"Shiu's a lecturer"-Oasis
"Let me entertain Shiu"-Robbie Williams
"The Shiu and me song"-The Wannadies
The Shoe people theme tune
"There's no lectures like Shiulectures"
"Nothing compares to Shiu"-Sinead O'Connor
"Like I love Shiu"-Justin Timberlake
Something by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs
"I can't get Shiu out of my head"-Kylie Minogue
"Shiu said, Shiu said"
"Thank Shiu"-Dido
"All I want for christmas is Shiu"-Mariah Carey

This weeks competition (or "The bit where I have an idea and get someone else to do the hard work)
It has come to my attention that Shiusletters are being seen by people who they weren't intended for. This bothers me in the sense that people will think i'm odd, but I am glad that the word of Shiu is spreading. So if you do show a Shiusletter to someone can you not tell them the author as I wish to remain semi-anonymous. In light of this i feel that anyone who reads the Shiusletter should become part of a secret soceity "The cult of Shiu", it is only to members of "The cult of Shiu" that I can reveal my authorship, so in order to discover who is in "the cult of Shiu" we need a secret handshake or signal of some sort. This is your competition, the winner receives another piece of stationary that I will not use, and lets face it, you probably won't either!

Until next week Shiu fans

Shiusletters 5 & 6

lsl6.jpg
A picture of Lisa Scott-Lee, and why not?