Let's face it, the Olympics are pretty ace, but could be improved by adding and removing certain sports (or activities). Here I will outline some new sports, some sports that should be included and some sports which should be removed.

 

 

Cricket: One of my favourite sports, it's in the Commonwealth games and so why not the Olympics, after all they have baseball which is won by America or Cuba (Or Cubans who live in America), all the other teams only compete because they think "There's a bronze medal up for grabs here". Britain may have an outside chance of a medal aswell as there are only 8 decent nations.

Dodgeball: As seen in South Park (and the new movie which I've yet to see).

Snooker and Darts: They're played in pubs, how could Britain lose? Pool could be added aswell but I suspect America would fare rather well and we couldn't have that.

Rugby: We're world champions and so would surely be in line for a medal, they could also have the faster, more exciting, 7's rugby.

Extreme Sports: Why not incorporate the events of the X Games into the Olympics? Contains the most entertaining (skating, BMX) and stupid (street luge) sports around.

Jet Skiing: The most fun thing ever. It's 'played' on water and so we'll take to it like a duck to . . . .erm. . water.

Sky Diving: It's an extreme sport but they don't do it at X games and so I've had to put it seperate. I think individual dives would be difficult to mark, but team dives where they make silly patterns in the sky wouldn't be too hard.

Bull riding: Texas style bull riding would be hilarious, obviously America would win but chances are they'd be the only nation to compete, and who knows, they might get gored.

Bull fighting: Another sport with a chance of goring, this time for the, slightly less deserving of a goring, Spaniards. Also this is bound to cause controversy with animal rights protestors, and the sorts of people I don't like.

 

 

Stuck in the mud: It's like "It" or "Tag" where if you're touched you stand with your legs apart and are 'stuck in the mud', you can be freed by someone crawling under your legs. I'm certain you could make this a team sport somehow, get the IOC on the line now.

Pedalo Racing: If you don't know what a pedalo is, then you've obviously never been to the Mediterranean. It's basically a pedal powered boat. Combines two of Britains strongest sports, cycling and water based sports (to avoid confusion I added 'based' to that sentence).

Drive-by-shooting: Combining shooting and driving, obviously you don't shoot people, but I'd like it if you could shoot animals like bears and seals. America would obviously lead the way, but I think our chances of silver are pretty high.

Queuing: apparently Britain is really good at this, how to incorporate it into a sport is a mystery to me.

Giant Jenga: My favourite pub game. Contestants must drink at least 10 units of alcohol before using their steady hands to remove and replace bricks.

Air guitar: I'm just being silly now.

 

Handball: Football for people with two left feet. If you've ever seen a handball penalty you'll know how laugh out loud stupid this game is.

Water Polo: Water polo is made up of two people. 1) Failed swimmers 2) Failed handball players. Even stupider than handball in that it's exactly the same, but played in water.

3 Day Eventing: 3 days of riding horses, one of the events, dressage, basically is Crufts for horses. Britain tends to do well in horse related events (in fact all 'posh' events), but that doesn't stop it being mind numbingly dumb.

All non-freestyle swimming: Do they have a 100m hop in athletics? Or a 200m run around flailing arms? No, they don't and they shouldn't have so many stupid swimming strokes. Plus, it's the only water based sport that we don't rule at.

Modern pentatholon: Invented in 1912 or there abouts I think, and therefore not modern by any stretch of the imagination.

Sailing: How are there 11 different types of boat? It's a boat! You should be allowed any type of boat, personally I'd go for one of those boats that if you go too fast they flip upside down, or a battleship.

Rowing: Similar to sailing. Too many classes. One race, any boat that is rowable, I'd go for a Viking longship.

 

There are probably some events at the Olympics that are so dumb that I'm not even aware of them. I enjoyed the Olympics this year, but if the Chinese take my advice Beijing 2008 could be awesome!