Evolution is a pretty widely accepted theory explaining a lot about life on this planet. If you don't know what evolution is then it's probably better that you ask your parents or if you've left school, it's probably best you go back, because lets face it, you're dumb. Why am I writing about evolution? I'm not a scientist (in the popular sense, apparently economics is a social science), but I did do biology to GCSE and we learnt about the survival of the fittest. It's the coolest thing ever. An example of survival of the fittest would be when a coyote is born it's parents leave it and the coyote has to kill a leopard or whatever coyotes eat, if it doesn't hunt, it dies. It ensures that only the best coyotes survive long enough to breed, increasing the probability of some kind of super-coyote being born. Basically, in nature, all animals are left to fend for themselves, if they can't, they die. It's a bit harsh, but it's for the greater good (unless it's pandas which are useless and so survival of the fittest would mean they all die). Now the explanation is over, here comes my gripes:

1) Why do we continue to protect species that are so utterly useless, like pandas? It just makes them reliant on us and therefore even more inept. They should learn to fend for themselves in the wild, if they die, tough luck, they had it coming. If you let the pandas alone in the wild, they may die out, but they may evolve to have claws on their heads or roller blade feet, or some other kick ass power that would ensure their safety. Pretty soon we'll get bored of our current animals, so with this in mind we must allow nature to take its course, nature has kept the ecological balance of this planet for God knows how long, so its got experience, I don't think we'd be dissapointed. I reckon 'the man' has made sure we keep all animals in check so that they don't evolve to overthrow us as the dominant species, or is that the craziest conspiracy theory of all time?

2) The lack of a decent human killing animal is hurting the world. We're on top of the food chain which basically ensures that we kick ass, but if there was some kind of super predator (I know humans get killed by all sorts of animals, but nothing hunts humans alone), like a cross between an eagle and a shark that only eat humans (but, importantly was eaten by something else, like mice), we'd be a better race, trust me. Think about it, I'm walking through Loughborough and a bunch of fools are near me, a shark-eagle hybrid approaches, I use my cunning to run for cover, but the fools think they can take kill the shark-eagle, of course they can't, so they die. If this happened on a large scale it'd be amazing as all the stupid and utterly pointless humans would be picked off by the shark-eagle, leaving only the best behind, they'd then breed to create a new super breed of humans with increased immunity to the shark-eagle (of course the shark-eagle would also go through a survival of the fittest stage, ensuring that our existence became a monumental struggle against the shark-eagle hybrid creature).

 

It seems that despite the fact that we know evolution exists we are set on stalling it as best we can, by trying to stop the circle of life, things die, get used to it. Who cares if some South American tree slug dies out? It was obviously rubbish, we should just be happy that there are still cool animals out there like monkeys and lemurs. I hope my point hasn't been lost amongst images of shark-eagles, it's been a long day so I'm not sure that made a whole lot of sense, but then I rarely make sense.

 

I'm wierd. Awesome, amazing, lazy and wierd. I do weird things and get annoyed by the most random things. Here are a few bizarre things that I do or annoy me

1) Cool dates and times. The 5th of the 5th '05 was the highlight of my life, I', looking forward to the 20th of May this year (3 days away), why? It's 20/05/2005 thats why! I'll have to do something silly at 20:05, I'll be awake so I'll probably be doing something stupid anyway. Any number sequence that comes up intrigues me, eg 12:34, palindromic times are ace, eg 21:12. It's amazing how I get through the day as loads come up, it's not uncommon for me to stop watching a film for about 5 minutes to make sure I don't miss the 1:11:11 timing come up.

2) Volume. I listen to music a lot, but it troubles me if I know the volume is on an odd number. It's OK if I'm not aware of it, or if, like in my car, the maximum volume is odd, but otherwise it drives me insane.

3) left handed people. There's just something not right about them (no pun intended, it turns out I can be funny without even trying), have you seen them write? It's scary. I'm sure the shark-eagle hybrid would feed on them first, as they're biologically inferior. I almost bought a left handed ruler once for novelty value, but then I realised people might think I'm left handed, but then they'd see me using my right hand and they'd freak out, I wish i'd bought that ruler now.

4) People rubbing their hands together. It opens up pores in your hand, it's so wierd and it makes a creepy noise, don't do it.

5) the domesday book. I swear it's spelt like that despite blatantly being the doomsday book. What is a domesday? What a pointless book, I'm more annoyed with the spelling to be honest.

6) Solitaire. Now this IS wierd, and a site-exclusive as I've never told anyone about this, ever. I only put a king on the far left berth as a last resort, I just don't like doing it, I will, grudgingly though. I find it's more satisfying winning without using that space. I'll restart a game that has a king dealt there from the start, it bugs me that much.

7) People in low jeans. How do they do it? I can't wear jeans low, I feel all these people are mocking me for having strange hips. I see them at gigs all the time, it used to be only men, now both sexes are doing it, I hope they fall down and people laugh at them (I know I will, in fact I hope the singer brings the crowds attention to it, and then the offender wets themselves with embarrasment, that'd be great).