I like to think of myself as a nice guy (some would disagree), so I thought to myself "I need to make myself a bad-ass" whilst I was thinking about how I could do this I saw an advert for Magnum ice cream. They were promoting their seven deadly sins range (I can't find lust anywhere!!), this inspired me I would commit the seven deadly sins in 24 hours! Oh and by the way Walls, jealousy and revenge are not in the seven deadly sins.

I started off at 4pm on saturday the 9th of August. I commenced with GLUTTONY, I figured this would be the easiest sin to commit, and it was, I managed to consume a tube of Spanish Salsa pringles in just 15 minutes, as they say "Once you pop you can't stop" this wasn't strictly true as I soon ran out and was forced to stop. When my mum came home later on in the evening I took time to ask her for some money, I didn't really need any, I was just commiting GREED, when she declined my offer I turned my attention to my sister, who also refused. This double refusal made me slightly angry, but it wasn't quite wrath. Next up was VANITY, for this I figured I would get my nails painted, I was looking for a nice manly colour, unfortunately as my sister is a woman she didn't really have any such colours. I settled for a nice mettalic blue/green thing, I have to admit it looked quite good. My newly painted nails got many comments at work that night, it was here that I had hoped I would commit lust and envy, but I was really busy and so only really commited WRATH (some of our customers are really stupid!). The next day I woke up fairly early and then took residence on my sofa for the remainder of the morning and for a good chunk of the afternoon, I'm sure you will agree that this qualifies as SLOTH. As luck would have it during my stint in front of the TV I watched the teen choice awards show, in this was a parade of fine looking women, including my future wife (Britney Spears), I was filled with LUST.

As the 24 hours wound to a close I realised that I had not commited ENVY, it was at this point that I realised that I have nothing to be envious about, I am great and have everything I need/want. It occured to me that maybe I was being a little arrogant and that perhaps that should be the eighth deadly sin, but then the fantastic film se7en would need to be remade so maybe not.

 

Ask yourself the following two questions: "Do I know where Leichenstein is?" and "Would the world miss Leichenstein if it didn't exist?" The chances are that the answer to both these questions is "No". The problem with the world today is that there are too many countries. I don't know exactly how many (I rarely research for any pieces on this site), but there is no way I could name them all, the only time I even hear of some countries is when they play football. Where are the Turks and Caicos Isles? If there were less countries democracy would be easier, I believe every country has a veto and therefore laws would be easier to pass with less. That is the most political I will ever be by the way. Kazakhstan, anyone? Have you seen the UN building? I haven't. Too many flags. If we had less countries the olympics would be less cluttered with no hopers, admittedly they provide amusement but the olympics is supposed to be a celebration of sporting achievement, not a comedy show. Just imagine how easy world cup qualification would be for England! Under my regime (see below) we would qualify automatically!

How do we decide which countries to get rid of? I have two simple solutions:

1) Disband the UN, NATO and all other peace keeping organisations and have a third world war! In doing this we run the risk of being controlled solely by the USA, but we are their allies! I don't think we would get rid of enough countries this way and that is why I have come up with a second option which is the one I would use if I was in power.

2) A new world is created with many countries merged together, there would be just 12 countries, 3 of which would speak English (this would stop people bragging about being fluent in many languages as there'd hardly be any to learn!). With just 12 flags many flag makers would go out of business, but think of the boom in sales they would get when the whole world switches flags! Here are the 12 new countries and the areas they would take up:

America (USA and Canada)

Mexico (Mexico, Central America, West Indies etc)

South America (needs new name)

Africa

Britain (British Isles and Scandanavia)

Australia (Australasia)

India (India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, Nepal)

Russia (Russia and Eastern Europe)

China (China, Korea and Japan)

Arabia (Middle East and Turkey)

Mediterranea (France, Spain, Portugal, Italy, Greece etc)

Bavaria (Germany, Switzerland, Holland, Austria, Poland etc)

These names are not definite, in fact I'm sure there are better names for some of them. I am also sure that there would be difficulties at the beginning, particualrily in Arabia, but it'll settle down. Languages would be the main problem but thye advantages strongly outweigh the disadvantages.